there's

/// edit 02/17/2018: I recently revisited this old post and considered deleting it. Despite the fact that I recognize it's problematic (or downright shitty), I think it's important to trace my personal grown over the past eight years. (Young, dumb, 20-year old Allen...you didn't "turn" your ex lesbian. Get over yourself.) ///


a cloud of smoke, and all i can think of is summer.
i smoked more substances (more times) than ever before.
i lost my mind, multiple times.
i destroyed a guitar.
i tried to get used to being single, and i made full use of my newly acquired relationship status.
i tripled the amount of songs i've written.
i recorded an album of eleven of those songs.
i kept my best friend close, for thousands of miles of driving.
we put those miles on my car, and his.
we drove delirious, hair flying, screaming songs well out of our vocal range and sucking down energy drinks just to stay awake.
i had sitcom-worthy experiences, some of which may or may not have involved too much alcohol and too little clothing.
i lived a reckless, sleepless, horribly unhealthy, early 20's lifestyle.
i spent thousands of dollars on nothing.
i experienced girls i had always wanted to.
i broke so many damn driving laws.
i hurt my ex-girlfriend so bad, she turned lesbian.
i drank myself better. (i'm still using that method.)
i developed an affinity for wine (cheap wine, of course.)
i dug myself into a nice little hole.
i followed her to a secret waterfall, a secret treehouse, and i felt like i was a kid.
i watched those fires burn from the freeway.
i could see them for so many miles, and i wondered if they were really "controlled."
i saw a cloud of smoke.