weight

Your weight's been lifted off this state

but you're not as gone as I'd hoped

I can feel myself

embracing the chaos,

consuming the loss

So swallow it like a lump in your throat

Choke back the tears, 

and let yourself go.

These lines

lead no one to nowhere

You're drifting in oceans alone

Inside this new resolution

to stay up until you're afloat

You're piecing together

patterns to call yourself home

And I can feel

I can feel you over me

but not like an angel, 

you've never had wings

So meet me where the rocks

and pills turn red

I'm fighting to burn

this into your head

but you're the breath,

pulling me in,

staining your lips.

And I can feel

I can feel you over me

but not like an angel, 

you never got your wings

I'll drag you away

piece by piece

Until you forget about me

I'm the ashes that fall

into the street

Destroying the ground underneath.

let's pretend we know how this works

Do you remember
when I confessed to you my dreams
the ones that were tearing me
at my seams
the ones that were pulling out the threads
of sanity
the threads of stability

Do you remember
anything?
Do you remember
anything at all?

Can you recall 

the fall
that night I screamed myself to sleep
the night you should have left
but I felt your head pushing down the pillow
I felt you stay with me

Do you remember
anything?
Do you remember
anything at all?

I’ve left plenty behind
a dirty tangled mess
of broken people,
blurry hearts
memories that don’t exist

I just can't remember
anything
no, I don’t recall
anything at all.

Tolerant rust.

Turn yourself red

With tolerant rust

As lines creep through time

And spread fissures through dust

Build yourself high

With colossal surprise

As the sky pulls in tight

To cross peaks and lead light

Allow bodies to flow

Through spider-vein rivers

Through forests of red

And find yourself gone

Allow mist above snow

Through its long-winded travels

And find yourself empty

Find yourself free

To wish for the fall

And wait for the red

To creep past the lines

And flood past the dead

To scratch at the sky

Turn air into rust

To pick up the pieces

And carry the dust

Please pick up our pieces,

And carry our dust.

Compare.

I disappeared like a summer day

Like the wasted hours

And humid haste

I disappeared like the morning haze

Like the muffled grey

And pregnant day

I disappeared like a place to lay

Like lining sheets

And anxious wait

I disappeared like heavy words

Like warming breath

And calming ways

I disappeared like dripping tongues

Like wretched rock

And red contempt

I disappeared like loving comfort

Like common places

And old new faces

I disappeared like covered madness

Like shouted notes

And sidewalk chords

I disappeared like asphalt fissures

Like cigarettes

And yellowed scraps

I disappeared like desert wind

Like huddled water

And canyon spins

I disappeared like smoke.

trying for two

Let’s say bright.

Moon over mountains

And snow-covered slopes

Below-freezing beauty

And finger-crossed hope

This food for the soul, poisoned long ago

The same long ago that reminds me of you.

Let’s say frozen.

You gave snow a reason to stay

Fields of lashes to catch,

shoulder tassel to brush,

cloudy curl to comfort.

You gave me reason to freeze

Pushing patience to wait,

Sipping silent buzz,
Buzzing bottles emptied.

You gave words a reason to write

5 winters

I liked the distance
I liked the sin
It covered our mouths
and clutched at our kiss

I needed the miles
I needed the lines
To dilute my memories
and sift through my mind

I turned ruin to road
and straight rain to snow
Sea-blowing salt
to high valley hope

I thinned out the air
and drilled canyons to stare
at impossible slopes
to forget what was most
of a life just spent trying to finish.

I needed the distance
I needed the miles
I needed to freeze out the cold.

age and grey

i haven't quite let go
of words i said before
i wonder if you know
anything at all

things haven't quite moved on
although i'd wish them gone
if ever i would
have the chance

i keep my head sky-high
to try and see some light
to try to catch some air
there's nothing left down here
in the middle of this haze
i can't keep up the pace
and i fall behind
i fall behind

as soon as things get kind of grey
i'm gonna leave this place
and fall behind
again.

metaphor

Don't let my words fall to the side, they'll fill up the ditch in which I've tripped and fallen inside and I'm still waiting to
come down.
There are too many metaphors, and I'm managing the store of information flow, flowing through me and no, I have not forgotten you, you're the focus of each syllable and stress and simile like this.

linguistics.

This metaphor
our language bore
to keep us
neat and clean.

Experience
a dirty mess
has no place
inside our heads.

surface

If I’m standing on sand
You’re the shift at my feet
Picking each grain
and releasing the heat

If I’m standing on rock
You’re the cracks underneath
Scratching off fingers
and shattering teeth

When I’m walking on water
You’re the skeptical cloud
Storming the waves
and flooding the ground

When I’m gasping for breath
You’re the wide open mouth
Poised to swallow the sea
full of sweet salty doubt

It’s too calm beneath
the
surface.