dream

This dream happened the morning of April 1^st, 2014, around 5:45am.

We were standing in the kitchen of a house that glowed with life and pulsed in the hot summer afternoon with a deep golden yellow. The air was thick and the breeze hung lazily as it wafted from room to room through screen doors and cracked windows. The kitchen seemed illuminated as vaulted ceilings caught glimpses of sunlight reflected off the island in the center of the room. At the edge of the kitchen, a hallway began and angled out of sight after a few feet. We were smiling and happy, showing teeth and laughing easily in our warm contentedness. 

Suddenly, two pigeons flew into the kitchen near the hall. I headed toward the birds to try and direct them back outdoors, but they bolted in opposite directions. The larger bird went directly for the screen door and proceeded to get terribly stuck, while the smaller bird went down the hall and out of sight into the bedroom on the right side. (Somewhere in here I decided the larger bird was “he” and the smaller “she”.) He struggled frantically, flapping his wings and scratching his feet, but he was not attempting to free himself from the screen; he was pushing through to escape outside. After a few helpless moments of watching, he slipped through the screen door and left behind a large clump of feathers and body parts. His body was now damaged, but completely white; he had transformed upon escape. There was no blood or gore, but the remnants stuck straight out of the screen as though he had shed an outer shell. 

As he flew out of sight, I shifted my attention to the female bird. I ran down the hall to the bedroom and turned in time to see her circle the ceiling, hit the wall, and fall into a corner. I rushed over and picked her up in my hands, cupping her wings together delicately to keep her safe. 

Upon leaving the bedroom, I walked past another screen door in the hall. Immediately outside the screen was the male bird, badly injured and barely able to fly. I could see anguish fill her face as soon as the tiny bird saw her partner through the screen, and she began struggling against my hands so vehemently that I lost my cautious grip. She shot out of my palm and became stuck in the mesh exactly the way the male bird had done before, and I watched another vicious struggle against the screen. As she fought, there was a burning intensity in her stare as her own shell of feathers and skin was slowly torn away until she broke through. 

With her last bit of strength she flapped tattered wings and rose to meet him, floating sluggishly on the warm current of air. A metamorphosis had changed frantic pigeons to shattered doves, and they shined a beautiful white glow as they rested against each other. They gently met each other’s cheeks and closed their eyes as life began to leave their bodies. Their flapping slowed in synchrony, and they fell together in idle circles until settling motionless on the ground. I looked at you, standing across the room, and the shock on our faces melted to sadness as I woke shaking in bed.