467,

we were lucky to have that place.
we were lucky to have each other.
but our luck didn't run out,
it decayed with a cancerous confusion
and destructive detail
until the rot in the corner of the room
left a skeleton to fall
and crumble to dust,
and the smell finally hit us.

sometimes, i reconstruct you
as you never were
as i wish you had been.
sometimes, i realize i stopped trying
i didn't care
and you cared far too much to notice
or allow yourself to realize what was happening.

they still ask where you are.

i pushed you away
with a strength i did not know i had.
and now you've created a strong new self
with arms to shovel dirt on the stiff eyelids
that loved us.

we were lucky to have that place.
we were lucky to have each other.
i was lucky to lose you.