slender reminders

I wondered aloud, 

bittersweet, 

if the world wouldn't look as lovely without me.

You assured me you'd seen beauty, 

decided for yourself
the air between us is not enough
to replace my breath in your lungs.

How will you remember me, 

hidden in the shadow of the new and beautiful? 

You'll follow anywhere as long as I'm standing still, 

indecision wracking my bones and clutching my capillaries.

I'm holding your neck with one hand
while promising permanence with the other, 

kissing my way to violent affection. 

I want to keep you, 

bound and lonely, 

broken and tasting blood, 

infatuated at the thought of bare skin
scraping on my asphalt tongue. 

I wondered aloud, 

bittersweet, 

how your fingers would break between my teeth

sucking on slender reminders of love, 

coursing through our veins.

sympathetic joy

You've got this picture of me 

heading straight for rock bottom

You caught me smiling

with a drink in my hand

You told me I’ve been going 

in the same direction

For the past two years

and the worst part is

You're probably right.

so,

When you say you're doing better

when you say you're doing fine

I wish I could say it didn't break my heart

every goddamn time

It's jealousy

this side of me

I should be better than six months ago

and all the slurry

Promises between you and me

i just can't seem to let go

And the worst part is

when you say you're doing better

When you say you're doing fine

i wish it didn't break my heart

I want to save you

even if I can't save myself

I want to save you

even if I can’t save anyone else

And when you say you're doing better

when you say that you're just fine

I wish I could lie.