Stonehenge

the sands of your existence
trapped between my toes
caught within the fibers of my clothing
the spaces between teeth

straddled by your memory
in the driver's seat
casting grains across the fabric
with your tongue thrashing inside of me

you moaned,
and pulled against your clothing
wishing for water
as we walked along the coast

from Alkai Beach to Mexico
and somewhere you were lost
a pillar of salt
turning to sand,

the sands of your existence
invisible to my heart's eye, yet
Stonehenge to the passing termite
and once again you give me

the gift of perspective
wet with lust
and humid air
straddled by your memory

close my eyes
dig my fingers into you
feel the sand beneath my fingernails
and bring you to my lips

saturate

saturate my skull
with bittersweet ethanol
a marinade of make-believe
pickled and preserved for posterity

surrounded by tongues
in familiar spaces
where the lines don't blur as quickly
and the expectation

of drunken sandpaper,
working off the old wood
strips the furrowed bark
to the fresh green flesh beneath

and suddenly I am
much easier to stomach
much easier to place
much prettier and comfortable

a grand mediator
supportive and structured
understanding, stimulating
a space to entertain, to

quiet the shame
quiet my name
quiet the truth,
throbbing phantom pains

my ears are trained
to pick up the sound
reverberating off my soggy skull
a silent signal

transcribed in circuit
with flailing limbs and
manic phrasing
the cadence of conviction

a confident con artist
smiling bittersweetly
soaking my skull,
preserved for posterity

barely a difference
cyclical and same
if it doesn't feel different
why do I abstain?

home

I went back home to my mother's house

And remembered how we don't

Open the blinds

Keep the rooms in greyscale

Let the afternoon disappear

And the waning winter sunset

Blurry through the treetops

Passing us by

I went back home to my family's house 

And stayed too long 

With creaky joints and bloodshot eyes

Soaked myself in sleep

Waking in the afternoon 

Reaching for a drink 

Rinse, repeat

I went home

And soaked myself in drink

And remembered, one by one

The people that I used to know

Disappearing slowly

The photographs and memories

Slipping by