Resolve and Apathy

Perhaps you could just come back?
Try on regression for size
And see if spite and regret
Haven't nailed holes in your resolve.

Perhaps we could wait in the rain?
Take photos of rainbows
And try to ignore the inconvenience
Of lingering love and apathy.

Perhaps you've changed since then?
Taken steps from my photo finish
And pushed into your own new negative
With unfocused eyes
And blood-blurry tongue
Feeling your way back to replacement.

Cloudless

I watched you drip through the clouds,
Distorted.
Twisting at your descent,
Your turns condensing a futile fight against the invisible pull,
Riotous gravity with no patience for serenity.

I watched your light attack the ground
so long before contact.
And upon collision
I saw your wandering mouth heavy with screams
Gracefully form with the dirty street,
Picking up dust and ashes from cigarettes so long extinguished.

I saw those eyes melt into beautiful blue asphalt,
Wet with disdain and desire
And I saw that skin
Fold and split along birthlines,
Spreading wide and innocent among the rest.

If your fall was one of many,
Your destruction held unique.
As I watched you fall
And break by your own device.

crawlspace

okay, I’ve let myself out

And wait for the door to close

before I turn around

If I try to return

Press my nose to the door crease

My ear to the peephole

My eye to the handle

And hand to the ground.

pray to the porch at night

my plank angels bless me till sleep

and if I wake in the dirt

I’ll remain

If I wake in the dirt

I’ll remain.

Watch for the cracks in the crease

the fissuring concrete

stays solid, asleep

as I dig and subvert and tunnel through dirt

lay my bones below bedframes

and stare into crawlspace.

Looking straight to god

Through springs and floorboards

Staring straight into grace

Under floundered foundations.

A permanent solution.

I'm working through the week
For two days I won't remember
And I'm telling myself
It gets better, it gets better

I'll start a new family tradition
drinking through the pain
I'll introduce my children
a way to numb the day

When you're staring down a question
sure don't give it all
Keep a secret kept behind
Keep yourself a place to hide

the smoke will cover
As you run away
The story will hold
If you hold its gaze

I'm working through the week
For another night I won't remember
And I'm telling myself
We're getting better
Are we getting better?